My father and paternal grandfather both have the artistic gene. Although I was gifted with this gene, art comes more difficult to me. I am very particular and tend to over examine my own work, as most artists do. As a youth, my parents encouraged me to go to art school but, I refused because "I wanted to do art for me, not for someone else." Well, life took over and art took a back seat. For over a decade after graduating high school, I dabbled in brief "crafty" projects that mostly went unfinished. My current studio is still lined with boxes of beads and felt and other such craft supplies. But, during this time, I never picked up a paint brush, a piece of charcoal, pastel or any such "art" utensil, not even a pen to feed my internal author. I slowly succumbed into a dark, unhappy abyss. My creative soul grew empty, whatever shred of light leftover from my youth slowly drained from my body. I was lost in a lonely darkness, not knowing what was missing; I just knew something was wrong; a part of me was incomplete, empty.

At this point, I'd worked for the same company for almost 15 years. Then another broken promise of promotion forced me into a deep and personal review of my life. I returned to community college to get a degree, although still unsure of my true path. Computers had been my strength for several years, so that was the logical direction; I still wasn't listening to my soul. Then, through a series of fated events, a new path was revealed to me. I decided to return to my childhood passion - art, but with a twist. I decided to combine what I was good at, computers, and my passion, art. Computer Animation was the answer and, after much research, Ringling School of Art and Design was the logical choice. I spent 3 months creating work for a "portfolio", presented it to admissions and was immediately accepted!

During my freshman year foundation classes, getting my hands dirty with charcoal and dabbling with paints, I realized how much I missed the basic processes of being artistic. I decided to change my major to Illustration; my true path was becoming clearer. I struggled for the next couple years, not really feeling much of an "illustrator." Then senior year I was given the opportunity to select my own subject for my senior thesis and, again, fate stepped in to show me the way.

One weekend, I took an impromptu camping trip with a friend and not only did the subject for my senior thesis present itself to me but, my true path in life hit me like lightning. Everything became so clear. All my loves and passions came together in one distinct moment. While visiting the forest preserve's gift shop, I came across some wildlife paintings and knew, right then and there, where I fit into the art world. I have always had a passion for animals - especially big cats and primates. The previous year, while learning acrylic techniques, I had painted a portrait of my dog. I had gotten rave reviews over the realism of the painting, which was supposed to be a simple practice piece. At that time, however, I didn't realize that this would lay the foundation for my future career. As I stood gazing up at the wildlife paintings on the gift shop wall, I felt deep within my heart that I finally found direction; I'd finally found a purpose for my life.

I work mainly in acrylic and have developed a technique of using multiple layers of acrylic washes. This adds depth and realism to my paintings that cannot be achieved by using the paints straight from the bottle. I enjoy watching the spirit of the animal come slowly alive before my eyes as I lay each new layer down. It's almost as if the paintings talk to me, telling me where to lay the next layer. It touches a deep part of my soul.

I have this same spiritual bonding with my artwork while using charcoals. I start with a black background and slowly pull the subject out of the shadows. With each touch of the eraser or smudge stick, the bond grows stronger and the artwork speaks to my soul louder and louder. It's at these moments that I am truly at peace and harmony with myself and my world.

To be able to share these moments with others through my artwork is very rewarding. I am no longer lost and, day by day, continue to fill my life with purpose through my artwork.